How To End Your Life...
(letter to my friend)
I am writing because I sense something strange within you lately. In the past you bounced-off life's problems, emitting good vibrations with hope pumping through your veins.
So here I am, living vivid, with ambition fuelling my flame. Although, just a while ago I was utterly lost !
Spinning around in a hurricane of inner unhappiness. Yes I was surrounded by good people, but oddly they became part of my ever decreasing spiral. "The fear" had hijacked my mind and began playing ping pong with my thoughts.
My mind was totally out of control, like a wild stallion galloping around with me on its back! Too many thoughts, all contradicting, nonsensical, bucking to throw me off. Then a heinous little idea entered the drama...the only way to subdue this beast, would be to kill my mind.
Not the first time this obscene concept had directed itself into my conscious thinking - back when I was a fresh 21 year old. After living a toxic existence since the age of 13 - pandemonium had hold of me, and forced me to consider, if the life I was living was actually worth continuing. My flatmate returned at night to a note saying I'd locked myself in the bathroom taken LSD and was deciding whether to end my life? Probably not on his favourite notes to receive list!
Yet those beautifully crazy hours locked with myself, brought about the perfect solution -
I decided to end my life…
I left behind most of my friends, girlfriend, changed my social activities, my home and found a very different job
In short I stopped being the old me and then…I simply restarted
The next 25 years was full and truly satisfying, i led an extraordinary life. Until a few years ago, when "The Fear" returned to once again to invade my mind. However I was further along life's path, supposedly wiser, certainly older plus I had "responsibilities" you know family, work, house, friends, standard stuff
I recalled, when people I cared about asked me "what should I do?" I would always say something like "do what you feel is the right thing for you". So I took my own advice! Once again breaking my circle, although this time with a lot more care.
Moving to another country and changing many aspects of my life.
Most importantly I changed my internal perception of my life and what it could be. The biggest revelation was discovering I still had many things I wanted to do....AMBITION !
Yes life is extremely rich in possibilities, the bummer is to reach them, you must kiss goodbye to some personal baggage. Making changes regards the negative aspects and people around you, is a fundamental condition of moving forward
Like me in the past, I sense you have "The Fear" and may be feeling a little trapped by your lifestyle.
Its not as big a problem as you imagine. Its actually your own system telling you "its time to make some changes"
We each have one life (except religious folk and cats) and its incredibly foolish to waste it just because you're unhappy!
Your entire system is screaming out, offering you the opportunity to metamorphosis from caterpillar to butterfly.
Once you accept this extraordinary invitation, You will find the courage and strength needed to make your transition.
Be bold. If you won't decide your future - others will decide it for you
Every atom, every cell and organ in your body changes during your lifetime, Not a single part of you remains static.
Your body and mind is evolving every single second. None of us remains the same, even if we wish too!
Change is a necessary part of us beautiful human folk. Go ahead alter your perception and grasp your opportunity.
Its a journey…
and the path is extremely muddy, so don't were nice shoes, strong boots are essential. You are climbing your mountain,
its going to be scary and sometimes painful, however when you reach the summit, the view of yourself will astound you
I don't know if I'll be part of your new journey, but hopefully we'll see each other further along the path
3000monks feel...the adventures ahead
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